The Emo Director?


Cover of

Cover of Unbreakable (Two-Disc Vista Series)


First let me say that I don’t want to offend anyone, even though I’m referring to someone who is also a popular target (at least in my online circles).

Mr. M. Night Shyamalan.


M. Night Shyamalan

Image via Wikipedia


Actually I’ve not seen any of his movies, not even The Sixth Sense. Yes, really. Now my brothers and I are having a movie night before our marathon cleaning session tomorrow, and watching Unbreakable. A story about a guy born with a disease that breaks his bones who spends his life looking for Bruce Willis. Well, not Willis specifically, but someone whose bones don’t break. And who doesn’t get sick. And who can read the minds of evil people, apparently best when they bump into him at the football stadium (and by the way, Shyamalan totally cast himself as a criminal—snort).

The kid actor is awesome.

At least there haven’t been any reflection shots in awhile. In the first half hour there were at least three scenes through a mirror surface—an actual mirror, a television, and the glass of wall art. After the last scene came a fun—

“No shooting friends, Joseph.”

Best line ever!

Sorry, we’re still watching the movie. So—a fun scene where Jackson kicks a guy out of his gallery for trying to buy an original art piece for a four year old. But all of those scenes were really annoying.

That kid is creepy. Just staring at those action figures…not to mention the whole trying to—

He doesn’t want to leave the comic books because he’s creepy! He’s been creepy and crazy and a psychopath! By the way,—

—He’s the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as prince—hey she totally brought it up! is he ‘the artist formerly known as’^2 Prince.—

—the really crazy one is Jackson, and he is creepy. Always. He lives his entire life by comic books? Why does he seem to be presented as the speaker of truth? “You and I are connected.”

—but first I was talking about the kid. His parents must have really messed him up. I mean, that it even occurs to him to try to shoot his father as proof that his father is invincible. Of course his dad is a disgruntled former football player, maybe that’s it.

Is Willis a Druid in that cape? The Victorians thought everything cool came from Druids, but who else has capes anymore?  I want a cape, but I don’t have one.

Is Willis a Druid in that cape? The Victorians thought everything cool came from Druids, but who else has capes anymore?  I want a cape, but I don’t have one.

“Real life doesn’t fit into boxes…” A cap with a baseball cap—”that’s a great superhero costume” says my brother. But to me is seems more like Willis is going to blow the place up. And nearly everyone is a criminal according to his little mind-raping thing. They also are the only ones who wear color, and always throughly evil. Not only does that guy assault random black man as a racist, but he also wears plaid and drinks beer in public (at least he doesn’t litter). Beware the janitor too (which is practically a crime itself, I’m sure).

The music here is cool. I wonder where they are to get that much rain?

Ohly crap, who’s that in red? O wait, it’s the evil janitor. Totally called it.

Willis is in the gutter here.


Unbreakable (film)

Image via Wikipedia


I’m not looking while typing. This is a very weird scene. That he’s on the cover and the scene changes. What is the point here…wait, water is his weakness. But random. Too much mystery in who’s helping him. They are just staring. Who doesn’t see this as hilarious. Okay, the bloody wrists aren’t.  Willis is totally death for bad guys. Still, I’d think he’d be better at it.

Why is he just staring at her? But at least Shyamalan leaves lots of possible commercial breaks.

His wife has a really strong neck. Oh my gosh she’s made of wax and he took her from her bed to his bad while she was sleeping! And then hugs her disturbingly like his traumatized kid was hugging him earlier. Green cabinets.

Great child actor.

Shyamalan’s cinematography is weird. And makes this movie funny too, so I’m grateful. The newspaper sneaks up on the orange juice…will it eat the glass before the child can get it???

Is Shyamalan trying to switch it up? Bad guys wear color and the good guys wear black. No, that kinda cape that hides the face is scary, because there’s a metaphor there that isn’t really acknowledged so far. See: hiding completely under a cape is hiding, and the unknowable is where the fear comes from.

Now we are chasing the guy in the wheelchair. Nice purple collar.

What the hell, dude was setting the up the explosions? Jackson, what were you thinking? At least his character really is a psychopath…he set up a mudslide in Mexico. That’s a supervillain.

“So many sacrifices just to find you…Now that we know who you are I know who I am…they call me Mr. Glass.”

And the superhero calls the police on the villain.

Actually, I like that ending. It was the only possible ending with exactly how crazy Jackson’s character was, but I’m pretty sure it was still supposed to be a twist.

So ends my as-I-watch commentary on Unbreakable. While I wouldn’t call it particularly insightful or groundbreaking, it is funny!



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